[vehicle was located on Hauser Blvd. just north of Wilshire Blvd. next to Ralphs]
The facts of the vehicle in question are self evident - what I wonder is whether the vehicle was abandoned, spray painted and then booted or was it booted first and an angry owner decided to spray paint and abandon it?...
I was driving to work one morning - heading down my residential street - when I came upon this. A face-off between the Sparklets Man and the Arrowhead Man. The two were out of their trucks, each standing next to their respective vehicles. I was kind of hoping to see them lunge at each other - locking hands around throats - settling the question of which water is more pure like real men - with a fistfight to the death! No such photogenic luck... As I passed between the trucks I noticed they were yucking it up about something - perhaps about how the bottles are filled with tap water?...
There was no sign of any other vehicle that may have caused this... Looked like maybe someone was going a little too fast and made a hard left turn from Tampa Ave. onto Sherman Way Blvd. and right into the palm tree.
The latest song I've noticed appropriated for a TV car commercial is the Pogues'Sunnyside of the Street. It would seem absurd enough to have this band, legendary for drinking, promoting a good time behind the wheel of any car... But the juxtaposition of the happy, clean, nuclear family going through their morning routine (or "ritual") before jumping in the family car and getting on their way to school and work is an excellent contrast to the actual lyrics of the song - the first verse of which is included in the full commercial. As is typical, no one will remember anything of them except for the "sunnyside of the street" part, which they'll happily hum to themselves over and over and over...
Seen the carnival at Rome Had the women I had the booze All I can remember now Is little kids without no shoes So I saw that train And I got on it With a heartful of hate And a lust for vomit Now I'm walking on the sunnyside of the street
Stepped over bodies in Bombay Tried to make it to the U.S.A. Ended up in Nepal Up on the roof with nothing at all And I knew that day I was going to stay Right where I am, on the sunnyside of the street
Been in a palace, been in a jail I just don't want to be reborn a snail Just want to spend eternity Right where I am, on the sunnyside of the street
As my mother wept it was then I swore To take my life as I would a whore I know I'm better than before I will not be reconstructed Just wanna stay right here On the sunnyside of the street
I'm driving back to work after dropping the hearse off at lunch. Not too much traffic and the weather's nice. I stop at the corner and prepare to make a right hand turn. The light is green in my direction, but there's a young man - I presume walking home from school for he's got a backpack and it's after 3 o'clock - he's crossing the street. I wait for the fellow to step onto the sidewalk and slowly start to inch along. It's always good to check the right hand mirror just in case someone is trying for that quick sprint across the street on the flashing red hand or there's a bicycle on the sidewalk trying to get across... Nothing in my mirror - I move a little quicker. - H O N K ! ! ! What the hell? Sounds like it's coming from behind me. I check around me just in case there's an old woman with a walker slithering into the intersection as they're bound to do as if materialized from a cloud of smoke. Nothing. - H O N K ! ! ! Now what? I look in the rear view mirror and there's a man in the car behind me gesticulating as if there's a fire under his ass. - H O N K ! ! ! All right, I guess he's in a hurry. I check the rear view mirror again just to make sure that I've identified him as the honker and then I start into my right hand turn again.
It's a beautiful turn. Smooth, precise, slow - as slow as I can make it while still moving at a safe speed. The street is narrow, which means that unless one makes a really tight turn, the best and smoothest turn in made into the left hand lane - not up to California Vehicle Code, but it's the best of the options. There's light traffic just before the end of day rush - as I smoothly complete my turn I straddle both lanes till I'm straight out of the turn and then slide to the left hand lane - smooth as silk.
In the meantime I'm peeking into my rear view mirror. The man behind me is going ape-shit! He doesn't know which lane to veer into. He's right on my ass - I'm sure he just wants to punch the accelerator, but can't. He's got nowhere to go. I'm smiling inside.
Honking at me in a situation where patience and great care is required will only succeed to redouble my resolve to be just that much more careful and patient.
Finally, I'm in the left hand lane on my merry way... I can hear the guys engine revving behind me as he punches it and is beside me. He slows down and shakes his fist out the window and leans his head out shouting:
You drive like a woman!
Yikes! Them is some strong words.
I wait till he passes me and looking in his rear view mirror. I throw up my hands in my best M. Butterfly impersonation and act like I'm shaking in my boots and squealing. I've found that when other drivers are trying to give me some macho vibe of alpha male challenge the best way to get back at them is to totally confuse the hell out of their Cro-Magnon brains. Usually totally gimping out works best - the spastic chicken, the palsy shakes and if they're within hearing range, some beheying noises or cawing shrieks really throw people for a loop.
Mr. Speedy zooms off and about a couple hundred or so feet ahead he slams on his breaks for the red light. I take the same route to work every day and I know that chances are, if I'm going real fast, that light will be red and I'll have to stop anyway, so why bother hurrying to do noting?...
[vehicle was located on Hauser Blvd. just north of Wilshire Blvd. next to Ralphs]
Would you send your child off in a van advertising "The Man Plan" on it's back door?
I was driving to work one morning - heading down my residential street - when I came upon this. A face-off between the Sparklets Man and the Arrowhead Man. The two were out of their trucks, each standing next to their respective vehicles. I was kind of hoping to see them lunge at each other - locking hands around throats - settling the question of which water is more pure like real men - with a fistfight to the death! No such photogenic luck... As I passed between the trucks I noticed they were yucking it up about something - perhaps about how the bottles are filled with tap water?...
