Life In Los Angeles - So exciting! So glamorous!

I really wanted a nibble - it's that five o'clock hump at work. Pretzels and coffee just won't do so I go to the third floor to check out the vending machine for some sort of exotic sugary sweet. I find some sort of banana pancake for $1.25 - seems kind of steep to me, but I don't make a habit of it, so it's all right.

On my way to the vending machine I run into Kevin and he asks if I wanna walk across the street where he's gonna buy a coffee from Starbucks and check his lottery ticket.

I normally don't step foot in Starbucks - I wouldn't think The Man's coffee if they paid me - but I generally make an exception so I can bullshit with Kevin - Kevin of Jimson Weed Gazette fame...
He gets his cup of the coffee that's ruining America (and the planet) while I people watch. Closely shaved men in tight t-shirts with nonsensical "tribal" tattoos... Blah blah... Free samples of "iced" coffee. Right.

We walk around the corner so Kevin can check his lottery ticket in the little scanner thing they got at the magazine stand - I didn't know they had those scanners. I wonder what they do if you won? No one ever wins...

Hey! There's Dustin Hoffman looking at the magazines! Yup. Wearing shorts, sloped over, nose to the ink. I remember hearing somewhere that he's pretty anti-fan, so I try to encourage Kevin to go bug him. Kevin's checking his lotto ticket - I have to hold his extra cup of coffee so he can dig the ticket out of his pocket. Normally I wouldn't touch that plastic cup of overpriced bile, but I make an exception.

"That's Dustin Hoffman there," Kevin leans in and says as he swipes his LOTTO ticket. I assume he didn't win.

"Yup that's him there. Why don't you go bug him? I'm sure he's appreciate it."

Mr. Hoffman is just standing there, unmolested by anyone. Must be a slow tourist day that the Farmer's Market. Perhaps he's there for a meeting at CBS or something. I can't imagine anyone going to the magazine stand in the heat just for the fun of it.

As we walk away Kevin turns back to have another look - maybe he didn't think it was him. I usually never forget a face, so I know it was him.

Another exciting day in the big city.

The "Tar Pit"

Took the dogs out for a walk last night - perhaps it was the heat.
The "tar pit" had a pungent odour - more so than normal.
Little burbles along the sidewalk - gotta watch out for the paws and feet.

Los Angeles Drive Time 1.0

Typical drive on Los Angeles freeway...

CSUN May 28, 2006

CSUN

Spooky, deserted campus...

Someone's gotta defend our electronic rights...

Find out more about the case here.

Sliding Doors

Driving to work past the sliding doors.

Pitmatian

Pitmatians are very good listeners...

May Day Celebration

Kingdom - Animalia - an animal

Phylum - Chordata - with a spinal chord

Class - Mammalia - that breast feeds its children

Order - Lagomorpha - a rabbit, hare or pika

Family -Leporidae -a rabbit or hare

Genus - Chocolatus

Species - crispus

Vehicular Manslaughter is a Manly Trait...

I'm driving back to work after dropping the hearse off at lunch. Not too much traffic and the weather's nice. I stop at the corner and prepare to make a right hand turn. The light is green in my direction, but there's a young man - I presume walking home from school for he's got a backpack and it's after 3 o'clock - he's crossing the street.
I wait for the fellow to step onto the sidewalk and slowly start to inch along. It's always good to check the right hand mirror just in case someone is trying for that quick sprint across the street on the flashing red hand or there's a bicycle on the sidewalk trying to get across... Nothing in my mirror - I move a little quicker.
- H O N K ! ! !
What the hell? Sounds like it's coming from behind me. I check around me just in case there's an old woman with a walker slithering into the intersection as they're bound to do as if materialized from a cloud of smoke. Nothing.
- H O N K ! ! !
Now what? I look in the rear view mirror and there's a man in the car behind me gesticulating as if there's a fire under his ass.
- H O N K ! ! !
All right, I guess he's in a hurry. I check the rear view mirror again just to make sure that I've identified him as the honker and then I start into my right hand turn again.

It's a beautiful turn. Smooth, precise, slow - as slow as I can make it while still moving at a safe speed. The street is narrow, which means that unless one makes a really tight turn, the best and smoothest turn in made into the left hand lane - not up to California Vehicle Code, but it's the best of the options. There's light traffic just before the end of day rush - as I smoothly complete my turn I straddle both lanes till I'm straight out of the turn and then slide to the left hand lane - smooth as silk.

In the meantime I'm peeking into my rear view mirror. The man behind me is going ape-shit! He doesn't know which lane to veer into. He's right on my ass - I'm sure he just wants to punch the accelerator, but can't. He's got nowhere to go. I'm smiling inside.

Honking at me in a situation where patience and great care is required will only succeed to redouble my resolve to be just that much more careful and patient.

Finally, I'm in the left hand lane on my merry way... I can hear the guys engine revving behind me as he punches it and is beside me. He slows down and shakes his fist out the window and leans his head out shouting:

You drive like a woman!

Yikes! Them is some strong words.

I wait till he passes me and looking in his rear view mirror. I throw up my hands in my best M. Butterfly impersonation and act like I'm shaking in my boots and squealing.
I've found that when other drivers are trying to give me some macho vibe of alpha male challenge the best way to get back at them is to totally confuse the hell out of their Cro-Magnon brains. Usually totally gimping out works best - the spastic chicken, the palsy shakes and if they're within hearing range, some beheying noises or cawing shrieks really throw people for a loop.

Mr. Speedy zooms off and about a couple hundred or so feet ahead he slams on his breaks for the red light. I take the same route to work every day and I know that chances are, if I'm going real fast, that light will be red and I'll have to stop anyway, so why bother hurrying to do noting?...

Irritating Intrusion 2.0 - Brownfield don't "get it".

I rarely bother to write to papers like the LA Times because I figure they probably don't give a crap - but since I made the effort, here it is below. It's in reference to:

May 5, 2006
CRITIC'S NOTEBOOK: Guess who came to dinner
*Stephen Colbert's tart tongue inside Beltwood keeps blogs buzzing.
By Paul Brownfield, Times Staff Writer

Dear Times Calendar,

I think that Mr. Brownfield completely misses the point in his May 5, 2006 Critics Notebook piece, "Guess who came to dinner". I happen to be the "kind of loser" (according to Mr. Brownfield) that watches C-SPAN on a Saturday night and by the end of Stephen Colbert's speech my wife and I were laughing so loud and hard that our neighbours could hear us. It wasn't just that we found the humour funny, because it certainly was - we were also laughing because the presentation, in the dry, no nonsense C-SPAN way was perfect for the occasion and Stephen's presentation of sarcasm, satire and irony - something seemingly lost on Mr. Brownfield. We were giddy with joy as well - witnessing the first time in a long time that someone was calling it like it was (and is), not just with Mr. Bush a few feet away and unable to escape, but with a large portion of the D.C. faux-glitterati in attendance as well.

I know that Mr. Brownfield seems to be star struck with celebrities like Ludacris and Pittsburgh Steeler quarterback Ben Roethlisberger who were in attendance - but to my wife and I, it didn't make a difference seeing the trademark C-SPAN tight shot cutaway to Lawrence Fishburne laughing - it was the shots of Mr. Bush turning red with anger (as turning red with embarrassment doesn't seem possible at this point in his tenure) that impressed us.

It is a good thing that the clip of Stephen Colbert has taken on a life of it's own on the web and that bloggers are giving gut felt responses (both in favour and against) because from Mr. Brownfield's piece it is clear that reporters like him lack the sense of irony to report clearly on why this obscure speech at a Saturday night D.C. corporate dinner - only watched by "losers" on C-SPAN - has gained such momentous buzz. It is precisely because Stephen Colbert played to a room full of stiffs "watching to see if the CEO deems it OK to laugh" and it made no difference in his performance. Anyone who is a regular viewer of the Colbert Report knows that he didn't pull any punches and was true to his character - and this is exactly why we do watch his show every night.

Sad to say, but there is a lot more "truth" between the lines - and sometimes directly in them - presented within the dry humour of the Colbert Report, and it's kin, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart - when compared to contemporary pop-reporting striving to be fair and balanced which always seems to best succeed at timid self censorship. Had Mr. Brownfield been a little more attentive he would have realized that a better comparison of Colbert's "D.C. kiss-off" would have been Jon Stewart's last appearance on Crossfire where in a somewhat similar spirit he said what needed to be said and thus spoke for more Americans than the media, you included, realizes or wants to admit.

Dentist's Office

Sinatra & Helicopters

Took a walk across the street to The Grove - the eight story parking structure affords a good view of the neighbourhood.

Walking through to the elevator Frank Sinatra plays on the hidden speakers and several cell phone conversations can be overheard. People making deals, people talking and saying nothing.

The fountain water show spouts up and plops down.

I count at least four helicopters and one piper cub plane hovering or flying around.

The traffic in the intersection is a mess. Busses diverted from their normal routs making sharp right and left hand turns together at a place where they weren't meant to.

Another half hour and I'll be walking home.

Consumer Guilt

Maybe it's trepidation at the purchase of a product that I don't deem necessary to existence - a giddy feeling - this could be a left over involuntary reaction from being born on the wrong side of the Iron Curtain. There were few products there of any sort.
We found creative ways to play as children - a form of marbles, but with chewing gum wrappers. Chewing gum wrappers seemed so exotic - the bright colours - the fragrant smell soaked into them - one sniff and it smelled like a better, less drab place.
Yes, there is that giddiness - thinking about a product, doing the research, locating it and finally the purchase. Yes, in my logical mind, when thinking about it, it's guilt that I feel.
Guilt for supporting an unsustainable economy.
Guilt for purchasing something from a retail store that dehumanizes the consumer. Isles of strategically placed items. Being herded down a chute - like cattle to the slaughter - towards a cashier. Then, the walk of shame - where someone looks at your receipt before being able to exit - giving you the eye to see if you're stealing... The experience always gives me the creeps.
Guilt for not giving the money to a cause or to the poor or even just saving it.
There shouldn't be any guilt for spending money earned through labour - but it's an internal struggle I can't rationalize because the act supports The Man - and The Man always is looking for a way to take you to the cleaners and put your ass in an endless spin-cycle of want (not need) for bread and circus.

Kafkaesque - look it up.

I walk through this hallway several times a day. Sometimes it feels just like it looks.

The "I" in IT dues not stand for "intelligent"...

- Slowly crumbling vintage 70's technology.
I love the sound of an HP3000 and the quaintness of COBOL just as much as the next historian, but at some point, passing $17 million a year through it gets a little hard.
- "Senior programmers" with no interest in programing.
Why does that report print an extra blank page? He doesn't know and doesn't give a damn - and mind you, this is one of the few programs based on new technology that a 16 year old would eat up in 48 hours and consider a challenge to do right.
- Accountability? Please...
Don't even think that three months in IT time equals anything close to what we're used to in our dimension... Somehow IT's found a way not only to give one unmet deadline after another (and blame the failures on unseen forces beyond anyone's control), but to stretch out time to at least twice or thrice it's quantitative measure in human terms. When a project is not completed - or even worse, just done enough to be twice as cumbersome to use as what was in place before - the MO is to move on to another project and give it the same treatment. There's always plenty of saps in the building with work to impede.
- "What the hell do you need that for!?!"
This mantra reverberates in ones mind whenever some sort of application is needed. In the IT Universe the user doesn't know what's needed to do a job. Anything asked for is, in their minds, asked for as to inconvenience the IT Squires from doing what they do best (see my point above) - tending their gardens of daisies waiting for the weather to turn ever more favourable.
This alone - if only it were all that lies beneath the surface of IT - would make Kafka proud. Machines with enough complexity to have the potential for infinite combinations of incompetent human interactions.
It seems that the natural order of things in our IT Department is something akin to the best of Soviet style bureaucracy. An endless spiral of incompetence, anxiety, passive aggression and eunuch bravado. The whole vibe is like some kind of virus that turns the stout of heart into piddling clock watchers.
It's despicable and nauseating. I wonder if any of them have read Kafka?

Sound words of advice indeed!
- Start with what is right rather than what is acceptable. -Franz Kafka

Pizza Crust?

Kevin finds a new religion...

J'Accuse! Kill the spoilers!

Found this one here: Political Cortex - and the title caught my eye...

"Kate Michelman to Pull a Nader in Pennsylvania?"
It seems like the same old tired argument getting used for anyone who doesn't join the limp zombie line of DNC drones that seem to stand for less and less now a days. I wonder if the political strategy is to hope that the Republicans dig themselves into a hole they can't get out of? It seems that the Democratic Party is learning nothing from their repeated defeats... or perhaps they're not or never were the party that progressives thought they were. The only snowballs chance in hell seems to be more 3rd party or independent organization and this seems to be making itself more evident through the shutting down of any progressive Democrats that put up a serious and principled fight for anything... Wouldn't it be refreshing if voters turned out and voted for candidates and not the parties which seem to only have empty promises from behind obscenely funded smoke and mirrors for cover?
Here's the tripe below:
Kate Michelman to Pull a Nader in Pennsylvania?
By pontificator
03/06/2006 10:54:27 PM EST
This could be bad news. Catastrophically bad news. Former NARAL chair Kate Michelman says she may run for Pennsylvania Senate as a third party independent candidate:
How angry was Michelman?
The veteran activist, who has lived for almost three decades in Pennsylvania, might just jump into the Senate race herself.
"After Casey announced his support for Alito, I got calls from around the country," says Michelman in a Legal Times article on the fallout from the Alito fight. She tells Legal Times that she has been urged by Democratic donors and feminist groups to run this fall as a pro-choice independent challenger to anti-choice Republican Santorum and anti-choice Democrat Casey.
If Michaelman runs, she'll do nothing but split the Democratic vote and assure a Santorum victory. If she was really serious about furthering the pro-choice agenda, she would have gotten in gear months ago and run against Casey in the Democratic primary. Doing the third party spoiler thing now, by contrast, will return Santorum to the Senate, and therefore assure a continued Republican Senate majority. Such an outcome will not only set the pro-choice movement back, but also hurt progressive causes on civil liberties, labor, the environment, health care, and pretty much every other progressive cause you can think of (goodbye NSA wiretap hearings, hello retroactive authorization of unsupervised NSA domestic spying, for example).
Let's hope Michaelman pulls back on this foul trial balloon. No one is asking her to campaign for Casey. We're just asking her to do no harm.

Three years later...

...I've got an office and he's got a cubicle without any windows. Life is so unjust.
[photo taken 10-31-2003]

Excellent Weekday TV Watching

22:00 PST - G4 - Star Trek: The Next Generation
23:00 PST - Comedy Central - Daily Show
23:30 PST - Comedy Central - Colbert Report
00:00 PST - G4 - Attack of the Show