Socialist Santa - 1978

Socialist Santa - 1978
Originally uploaded by AArt Vark.

The only Santa Claus I remember ever seeing was this one in 1978. The (State run) company where my mother worked decided to have a Christmas party with Santa Claus handing out presents to children. Santa was one of my mother's co-workers doing the best he could with the limited resources provided him by the Socialist Republic of Romania. He did not succeed very well as he was one pathetic, skinny Santa looking more like a child molester than a jolly fat man.
My mother still recalls, and I actually do very vividly as well, the exchange I had with him.
- Who are you?
- Why, I'm Santa, little boy.
- No you're not! ...And I kicked him in the shin with all my might.
In retrospect, the poor bastard probably did try his best.

Irritating Holiday Season Particulars

(In no particular order and to be added to...)
- Increased traffic due to shoppers driving like zombies between malls and mega-stores.
- Insufferable "seasonal" music in commercials with bells constantly jingling and peppy voices singing.
- Suicide rate goes up - or is this an urban legend? If individuals really want to do themselves in, they should feel free to do it any time of the year. If they don't feel like it any other time they should not use a holiday as a "crutch" to help them.

Shifting Sands of Technology, The

It is interesting to note that at Sav-On one can now get CDR's, DVDR's, USB cables, flash memory key chains, bubble jet ink and more along those lines. The shelf of pens has been whittled down to about 1/8 of it's former glory and good luck trying to find an acceptable pocket calendar made of paper...

Progress marches on.

Where to, no one knows.

Irritating Intrusion 1.0 - Disgusted by "delicious"

Like nails across a chalk board there are certain things that aggravate me. This is one that I've been noticing pop up in the use of the English language lately - and every time it's like a forgotten rusty nail sticking up out of the ground, a sharp prick of recognition and the the metal sliding in an explosion of pain. Perhaps it's one of those things that becomes a fad when there is a saturation level of usage that rubs off on people.

For me it's a natural reaction I have to these things - much like an involuntary gagging reflex. A cringe. A shiver up the spine!

What's the offense?

"Delicious" - used out of what I feel is it's proper context.

delicious
1. Highly pleasing or agreeable to the senses esp. of taste or smell 2. Very pleasant; delightful

So, here's the setup.

I'm working - streaming CSPAN2... [The IT fascists delight at not installing anything on my machine that I can use to stream radio on the weekends even though no one is in the building and there's plenty of bandwidth. I can't tune my radio into anything other then stations I despise.] and enjoying listening to a bloke speaking about language. It's not bad - fairly educational actually.

Ilan Stavans - Dictionary Days
Description: Ilan Stavans discusses his obsession with words in his new book, "Dictionary Days." The author provides a history of several languages including English, French, Spanish, and Latin. Mr. Stavans also compares different definitions of the same words and how they reflect the cultures of particular regions.
Author Bio: Ilan Stavans is the Lewis-Sebring Professor in Latin American and Latino Culture at Amherst College in Massachusetts.
Publisher: GRAY WOLF PRESS 2402 University Avenue, Suite 203 Saint Paul, MN 55114

So, I'm having a good time, getting some work done and then this fellow refers to the pursuit of a word in the dictionary as a "delicious" - gives me the creeps just thinking about it now - endeavor.

Looking up a word in the dictionary is not "delicious"...

There is a fellow who posts to the Bob Dylan group at tribe.net - he refers to tracks on albums as "delicious"... [He also types "Beeb" instead of Bob as if that's some hip fucking thing he's only privy to - but that's a different irritant.] Fucking idiotic!

I honestly don't quite know why this usage makes me cringe. Maybe it's because cerebral pleasures have nothing to do with a word that I associate purely with food. It makes me think of some glutton stuffing themselves with sticky sweets and all the time getting off on it - think Mr. Joyboy and his mother in The Loved One and that's what I picture - some despicable slob salivating and licking their fingers as juices drip down their chin... Out of context this usage disgusts me.

Cranial Cogitation 1.0

I get home from work and there's a box that's arrived - against my frugal curmudgeonly grumbling the wife has ordered me a couple new pairs of Dickies trousers and a couple of their great 100% cotton shirts... So I open the box - notice that it's awfully big for just four neatly folded items - then ponder how the hell they stayed all neatly folded in transit without being in plastic and in the absence of packing peanuts...
[Packing peanuts are a true work of the Devil himself. Utterly useless and an utter nuisance to dispose of as they are not recyclable nor reusable unless one wants to fill a whole garage with them "just in case" there a lot of shipping to be done.]
The shirts and trousers are real starchy, but a good wash in hot water will take care of that! You know, I like wrinkles in clothes.... It says comfort in my mind.
Shirts fit superbly - medium regular - none of that baggy crap that the kids are into now a days! Are they still into the baggy thing? Damn nuisance - shirts bunching up in the armpit when a jacket is put on - what's the use? I did see a fellow strutting up Fairfax Ave. last week - all tough like - and his trousers were damn near sagging to his knees. Yeah, real tough fellow - hell, you ain't even able to run at a good clip without them trousers slipping down to your ankles and givin' ya up! But I digress...
I'm checking out the labels on the inside. Another personal peeve is inner labels that are sown on with fishing-line-like thread. Always a corner of it poking up and scratching the back of the neck. Even worse is when there's a labile on the inside of the shirt on the side... Why the hell do I want to feel like there's bugs crawling all over me? Doesn't make me think of the manufacturer in a good way - all I think about is who the damned fool that thought to use this type of plastic wire - most likely thinking of the longevity of their label attached to the shirt long after it's tattered and full of holes. In these cases I get the X-Acto knife out and cut that bastard out. If a sharp blade isn't available, then just pull on the little bastard till it rips out. Either way, the offending label must go.
But all is good! I haven't purchased a new Dickies garment in a while, but it's pleasing to know that they're still using their soft thread standard!
As I glance at the labile to check out the "made in" labile I feel a sense of relief - and a sense of confusion due to my sense of relief - it says: MADE IN NICARAGUA!

• - Relief because it is not made in China.
• - Confusion because I am relieved that it's made in Nicaragua.

Now, back when we walked to school for miles in the snow, "made in Nicaragua" would conjure up stomach churning images of banana republic sweatshops with some fat taskmaster smoking a Havana cigar laughing in a sweaty undershirt and panama hat as the orphans toil at the sewing machines.
China now represents that drive for cheap product. A thirst that the Credit Card Nation just can't quench. Not seeing that it is the producer that is also the financier - the blue-blood gentry having sold out their countrymen, grow fat and happy as their bank accounts grow ever bigger off-shore because they make their money on investment without labour...
I come to my senses thinking - at least Nicaragua is in the same hemisphere as the US and relatively within the reach of some sort of working conditions oversight. What are the chances that descent garments could be obtained that have been manufactured in the US unless one goes to a tailor?
Levies aren't made in the US anymore... And to someone that knows the symbol that Levies represented behind the Iron Curtain - that's about as un-American as it gets. Thanks Wal*Mart!

World's Most Despicable Yachts

I understand the value and romance of a good boat. Being the captain of one's ship can be a great contemplative exercise... But that's not what I saw on the Travel Channel.
Million dollar yachts. Fine and dandy if you're building something useful... But these were over the top - fuck you proletariat scum pleasure boats.
One is built with a separate set of gangways for the crew of twelve so it's owners do not have to see them. Their coffee is served through a trap door to the living quarters ensuring no contact between the occupants and the staff...
On one businessman's Ft. Lauderdale "business man's" back yard pier is anchored a yacht that he proudly tells us he washes three times a week! Does he really do that himself or is it more likely that the migrant hired help does? The rare wood paneling and floors get waxed every time the yacht comes back from even an afternoon of fishing...
This wouldn't bother me so much if the majority of these people would have earned their money - but as statistics show, the divide between those that started out rich and those that ain't is quickly widening. "Upwardly mobile" is a quaint phrase of years gone by and while those that actually work for their money see less and less buying power from their dollar those that were born into the new American class of privilege take their tax cuts and buy more yachts - and why shouldn't they - we're all complicit in providing them with tax relief...

The Minotaur Busts a Fly!

Minotaur rocket carrying DARPA payload launched from Vandenberg AFB.

Got out of a meeting just in time to see the trail from the launch flopping around in the sky and fading quickly.
I think that's pretty cool and if you know what I'm speaking of when I mention Vandenberg AFB and DARPA then chances are good you might think it cool too.
Here's an amusing quote I found in an LA Times article about the launch.
"People throughout Central and Southern California and parts of Arizona also reported seeing the launch, with some voicing concerns that it might have been an explosion or terrorist attack."
I remember in high school seeing a launch trail as I was walking by the football field where the meatheads were practicing - and I shit you not - one of them said, "It's a Russian attack!" and booked for the locker room.
At least, with the Soviets and thousands of warheads aimed at the US it somehow makes more sense - but a terrorist attack? What do people have in their skulls, feces instead of brains?

Lighter Than Air

Saw a blimp [which is not the same thing as a zeppelin] out the office window - heading NW towards West Hollywood. It had some sort of Keith Herring type painting skin on...

We need to see more lighter than air ships flying around. It says, "The future has arrived."

The German's got it right - a new Zeppelin's in production...

Learn more about rigid airships, they're cool.

Zeppelins @ WIKI

Gerald Ford

I find myself fascinated watching a biography of Gerald Ford [Time and Chance: Gerald Ford] - a biography of the 38th President... Never thought about him much - I doubt anyone else does either.
- Not as sexy as Kennedy
- Not as gentlemanly as Johnson
- Not as lovable as Nixon
I think given the chance he could have kicked ass just like Truman did. But hey, everyone was too busy making fun of him and projecting their residual Nixonian anger at him... I think I'll put his photo up in my office.

[Gerald Rudolph Ford, Jr. - 38th President of the U.S.]

Reaction = Action

Can't post comments to The Jimson Weed Gazette so therefore I must start my own blog to do so...